MY HUSBAND'S FAMILY STOMPED ON MY WORK LAPTOP BECAUSE I REFUSED TO CLEAN DOG POOP AT MIDNIGHT: 'FAMILY COMES FIRST!' I WALKED OUT. A MONTH LATER, THEY PANICKED WHEN ALL THEIR INCOME HAD DISAPPEARED

Over the weekend, the reality of their impending homelessness set in, forcing my mother-in-law, Diane, to change her strategy from bitter hostility to pathetic manipulation.

On Sunday morning, while I was enjoying a peaceful breakfast at the hotel restaurant, my email inbox registered a new message from a personal address I recognized immediately: [email protected].

I opened the email while sipping my orange juice.

Dear Claire, the email began, a startling shift from her usual commanding tone.

I am writing to you heart-to-heart as a mother. I know things got out of hand on Monday night. Mark was wrong to step on your computer, and I have scolded him severely for his childish behavior. He feels terrible about it.

I snorted softly into my napkin. Mark certainly hadn't felt terrible when he was smirking under the chandelier.

However, Diane continued, you must understand that marriage is about forgiveness and endurance. Eric is heartbroken. He hasn't eaten in two days. The house is in complete disarray. The power was turned off yesterday afternoon because of some automated banking error, and all the food in the refrigerator has spoiled. We are sitting in the dark, Claire.

Surely you cannot be so cold-hearted as to evict your husband's elderly mother? I have nowhere to go. Mark is trying to find a job, but the economy is difficult. We need you home. Please drop this ridiculous divorce filing, restore the household accounts, and come home so we can move past this temporary misunderstanding. I will personally bake you your favorite lemon cake.

I stared at the email, marveling at the utter audacity of a woman who thought a lemon cake could undo seven years of financial drain and emotional abuse.

I didn't reply to her email. Instead, I forwarded it directly to Arthur Vance with a short note: Add this to the evidence dossier for the divorce hearing to demonstrate emotional manipulation.

An hour later, Arthur called me.

"Claire, I just reviewed the municipal utility records for Lakeview Estates," Arthur said. "It appears Eric tried to bypass the electrical meter yesterday evening to restore power to the house himself."

"He did what?"

"He attempted some illegal DIY electrical work in the basement," Arthur chuckled darkly. "He ended up blowing the main neighborhood transformer, cutting power to six surrounding homes. The city power company was dispatched, discovered his illegal splice, and issued him a twelve-hundred-dollar citation for utility tampering. They have completely locked out the meter."

"He always was terrible at contracting work," I murmured, shaking my head. "That's why his business was always failing."

"In addition," Arthur continued, "I received a formal communication from Mark’s trade school this morning. Mark's tuition was being paid via an automated monthly charge on your secondary credit card. Since the card was canceled on Tuesday, his enrollment has been suspended, and he has been barred from attending classes until the six-thousand-dollar past-due balance is settled."

"Fascinating," I said. "So in less than seven days, Eric's business has collapsed, Mark has been kicked out of school, Diane is sitting in a dark, unpowered house with spoiled food, and they owe thousands to the city."